2010, you were here & then gone.

The year has flown by. I think this has probably been the most diverse year I have had in my whole life with so many life changing events.

If I could tell myself some things this same time last year, this is what they would be...

+Don't hurry for the spring semester to end. It will end sooner than you think...and you'll miss it.

+Try & stay civil to your old friends or else you will get to a point where you've been friends for five years, see each other in the street & don't even look at each other.

+Hunger after God. DON'T use him to your advantage. Chase after Him every day.

+Be nicer to your boyfriend. He loves you & you give him too much crap over stupid things. Otherwise you will lose your best friend & you won't speak for almost an entire year.

+Don't tell your parents everything. They always want what is best but sometimes not knowing every single detail of your life is better (as long as it isn't something crazy).

+Try and limit the crazy part of being a girl & getting upset over little things. You will get into too many fights with people that you should have never got into in the first place.

+You're going to have a crazy summer but don't go looking for love in so many places just because your heart is broken. It won't fix it. Only time will & even then you won't forget entirely.

+Do more spontaneous things. They will be the things you remember most about your college days.

+Spend more time with your girlfriends instead of studying. You're going to fail ochem anyway & have to retake it spring semester.

+Don't hold back from revealing what is on your heart. It will help that person even if it hurts them a little.

+Go to more CRU events. Make it a point to talk to more people. Go ice skating.

+Your 7:30am ochem lab will kill you a little on the inside but you'll pull a B out of it.

+Enjoy both semesters & the summer. Don't stress over your heart, it will only make you sick and won't help ANYthing. Just hang out with your girlfriends & let time pass. Time & chocolate are the only things that will partially heal it. Don't be too eager to give it back away either. Let God bring you someone, don't go chasing after anybody, it won't work. Study more in school, don't slack, especially in linear. Enjoy life more but don't always hold back the tears.

I'm looking forward to a new year, a new me :)

Relationships.

No this isn't going to be about my sappy nonexistent love life again. I'm through writing about that because it's being put on the back burner for a longgg time (well until I'm not as stressed with school haha)

I just was reading this girls formspring who is still in high school and I must say I was so surprised by it. She basically said she slept with a guy for the first time because he finally was the guy she was looking for & she's in love with him. It got me thinking. It seems like girls are so eager to "do it" with their "serious" boyfriend once they hit high school because they feel they will be together forever. I'm not writing this to condemn those who choose to go to that next level with their bf/gf in high school. I just feel that you should be wary and consider postponing it until you are financially able to take care of a child in case an "ooops" moment happens. Also, you go through SO much in high school and taking that next step in your relationship almost cements an emotional bond. Things are bound to happen and everybody is still changing so relationships hardly last. If you break up with that person, it will be 10x harder. I'm not saying this happens to everybody but I'm also not saying you are the exception either. From my graduating class (granted I've been out of high school now for almost two years) I know of one couple who dated in high school that are still together now. One. Out of 400 people in my class. I'm not trying to be harsh, just a realist. I chose not to take that step in high school with my relationships and I'm glad I didnt. The relationships didn't last and I know if I had taken that next step, the breakup would have been even harder. I still choose even now not to do it in college just because I know how distracting it would be from school. This entry mainly was just to say please think VERY carefully before you choose to go to that next level in your relationship and even continue if you have already started.

Hope everyone is having a great break!

Christmastime

Christmas has finally rounded the corner and it makes me both happy and sad.

Happy because no more school for three weeks and being able to celebrate the birth of our Saviour with my closest friends and family :)

Sad because it makes me miss last year.

Don't get me wrong, this semester has been great with the exception of ochem killing me a little on the inside.

I just miss certain things that I shouldn't miss and the season makes me think about it more. Plus I just watched a certain movie that brought up some memories.

However, I think I have met the most amazing people this semester at school (or home as I keep referring to it haha) It's definitely not the same as last year but in a way it is better. I love my life simply from the amazing people I've met and grown close to.

Life is really good right now and I don't need to dwell on what I don't have anymore but rather appreciate what's currently in it.

I hope everyone has a wonderful break and a Merry Christmas!

Lying here in Charleston, under the Carolina sky...

I recommend if you ever feel really down, to listen to some Hootie & the Blowfish. They always seem to be able to cheer me up.

So life right now is pretty good with the exception of school. I have NEVER been this stressed/felt so helpless about school. Pretty much, I'm legit failing one of my classes and there seems to be nothing I can do to help. I've tried anything & its so depressing. I'm still trusting God though that He knows where this is going and that there is a reason for it.

Everything else though has been great. This semester has been fantastic. I love my house, love the people in it. I've never been this happy with such amazing people surrounding me. I've met so many new people, especially in CRU. I keep meeting new people every day, it's just awesome. God has truly blessed me SO much. My family is always there to support me, even though I haven't talked to them as much as I did last year. I miss them a lot though.

I've definitely had many ups & downs (non school wise) but it all seems to work out in some way or another. I've felt such peace by putting everything in God's hands and it has helped me so much. I have definitely learned from my mistakes from last year and have found ways of avoiding them and not repeating them again.

I can't believe it is almost Christmas though!! Time really flies. I actually should be in bed right now and it's already 1:30...haha oh well.

Just thought I'd type a quick update since I hadn't wrote in a while. Hope you thats reading this is doing ok too :)

Faith..

...is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

It's been placed on my heart to talk about why I believe in Christianity or why I choose to be a Christian.

Being a Christian is based of faith; of believing in the unseen, putting total trust in something you can not touch, can not feel.

But I do not necessary agree with that.

Many ask the age old question "Where is the physical proof? I need to see something to believe in what you're telling me or else I can't accept it."

Many respond with "Well it is written in the Bible so there's your physical proof."

"But how do I know the Bible is telling the truth?"
Well, let's put aside the Bible as our only physical proof. I'm not saying that the Bible isn't the most important thing but let's talk about some other physical proof.

What?! There's other physical proof??

Yes there is. Or at least I believe there is.

My "physical" proof is everything around me. You look around and see this amazing nature and everything that occurs in nature. The human race. How complicated our bodies are, how no ones been able to create a human out of anything that is not human.

Well yes but evolution/the big bang could account for all of that also.

Yes, I see that but if that is true, why isn't that happening somewhere else? Why isn't there other planets appearing out of a nothing and people evolving?

My other "physical" proof:

Actions. How is it that every Christian that you meet, is super friendly & always willing to help? I'm talking a true Christian that strives to live their life to the best of their ability every day by God's word. Theres nothing in the Bible that says anything negative Christians should do or do devious minded things or to shove Christianity down peoples throats. No. Basically it provides a set of rules that Christians should live by. It doesn't say "Dont have fun" like a lot of people seem to think it does. Christians can still have fun while living by God's word. It isn't an oxymoron.

But that's mainly it, I just wanted to mention a few things I believe in, need to head to bed pretty soon. Good night everyone :)

On Friends & Life

First day of eighth grade, I remember I was so nervous. I knew pretty much next to nobody.

I had taken the big leap of going from small private school life for 13 years to crazy public school life.

And eighth grade? That had to be one of the most awkward grades, no one knew who or what they wanted to be. This is when we all went through the weirdest stages, trying to figure out life. All racing the clock before we started high school.

I met my soon to be four best friends during high school in eighth grade. We all were outcasts in some sort of way, coming from different backgrounds, different places but somehow we found each other. We didn't know it at the time but our lives would stay connected for about five more years.

People change though. I certainly did.

High school proved to be a challenge, but yet a grand adventure. Oh I certainly had those terrible deep down depressing moments, feeling as if my life was just failing, always worrying about grades, whether I would ever find a guy, those sort of things.

But through it all, I had my four best friends that I am so thankful God blessed me with. We were always there for each other. We sometimes would bounce back and forth from being more close to one than the other each year but through it all we all stayed together. I don't think I would have gotten through high school as easy as I did or enjoyed it as much without those four.

Times change though, especially when you go off on your own, making new and different decisions. You always think that you'll be together forever but sometimes it just isn't meant to be. All four of us, surprisingly, went to the same college. I am not being sarcastic because you've got to admit, for four radically different people to all go to the same college is pretty surprising. But we all were different, even after being friends for five years and recognized that the differences outweighed the similarities and we were drifting apart. It's one of those things you wish you could stop and fix but deep down you know it's for the best.

I've met so many new people in college and grown close to quite a few of them. I've even grown closer to older friends who I didn't talk to as much in high school. Each person that comes into your life molds and shapes you in a way. You may not recognize it then but they do influence and rub off on you. And you realize they are one of the main things that get you through each day in this crazy life.

"Who you choose to be around you, let's you know who you are" -Han, Tokyo Drift

Life is never set in stone and who knows what is waiting as you turn the next corner.

But don't rush through it too fast, you may just crash into a fence ;)

"We've got barefoot ladies & tricked out Mercedes"

"New friends & blue skies that never end

Hey, that's the way we like it

Good times, sunshine & summertime."

I still have not figured out the answers to life and the reasons why people do things - I never will. But I've learned that it is always good to have that one friend or friends that are there for you when you need them the most. The friend that you can call up at ANY time and pour your heart out or call up and grab a cup of coffee with with no reason whatsoever.

That is a true friend - that is a best friend.

I am so blessed to have more than one of these.

I have one truly best friend who I can pretty much talk about anything with. And then I have other really good ones who I know care about me and will always be there for me, that I treasure immensely.

That gets me through the toughest days and the days I just want to give up.

And if you find yourself questioning a friendship, just ask yourself, is this friendship a one way street? What ways am I benefiting from this friendship?

"You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love."

— Nicholas Sparks

Oh Life, why must you be so difficult sometimes?

I wish I could let go of things in the past easier...they seem to be coming back more and more and I have a difficult time letting them go completely. I then start to dwell on them and that gets in the way of things I'm doing now. I thought I had completely erased them from thought but now thats not looking that way. Am I erasing other things that I shouldn't be erasing and not knowing it? Am I slowly going back to the lifestyle I did not want because I keep on dwelling? How ironic is that. I wish life was simpler.

This is happening because I've been straying away from God. I see it now. I've become so busy and wrapped up with seeing old friends and the boyfriend that I've put aside my quiet time with God that I told myself I would NOT do over the summer. I wasn't going to be the one who completely forgets everything I learned over the school year and go back to be some stereotypical mindless teenager with no cares like I did last summer. It's really hard to admit but I did that last summer and it seems like I'm heading that way now. Lord, Help me, please. Help me to come back to you and yearn to be close to you again. I really need you and no one else.

Summertime :]

I looove summer.

I am so glad it is finally here, I can't believe it's here!

I got through my exams & the end of the year. I came out with

all As and one B+ for the semester, pretty happy about that (:

Right now I'm sitting at Bean groovy in Florence on my second

cup of coffee, just chillin'. Life is so good!

I'll be busy this summer taking Bio at FDtech & hopefully working

at barnes & noble (I have an interview tomorrow) If God wants me there

then so be it but if not, just gota keep looking for another job. (But hopefully

I get this one!)

I just wanted to write something now that I am done with my freshman

year. I can't believe all the AMAZING people I've met/become friends

with. I'm so glad this year turned out so good. Hopefully next year

will be even better!

"So long self, well it's been fun but I have found somebody else" -MercyMe

This past week I've felt such peace. I'm not sure how to describe it but God really has put a peace in my heart and it makes me so happy (:

Most are counting down the days till school is out but I'm just pretty much going with the flow,

not really worrying about tomorrow. I know everything will work out. This is an amazing feeling that can only be accomplished by giving it all to God, I wish everyone could feel this way.

I went to Texas this past weekend to see my uncle Stephen and Suraiya get married. It was an absolutely amazing experience. I loved traveling by myself & being able to do what I wanted. I loved seeing my family & meeting new people. The wedding was so beautiful too and I loved that we got to stay on a ranch instead of the usual hotel. I do believe more people need to get married more often :P

I'm looking forward to summer but not going to Florence and being away from the beach. But I'll be busy taking classes & working hopefully.
More later, just wanted to type a quick update. Hope you are doing well!

"Three in the morning...

...and I'm still awake so I pick up a pen and a page. And I started writing, just what I'd say if we were face to face."

Love this song (:

So my spring break this year, wasn't the greatest. Those that know me, know why. I've been sick

all week, hoping it'd get better but it hasn't. I don't understand why people do what they do or the way they make people feel. It's all human nature I suppose. God's strength helping me has really got me through this. I talked to David H. a couple nights ago and he was going through a similar situation. People are selfish, ever since the fall of man. There's really nothing you can do to change home someone thinks or acts. I try to suppress what I'm feeling but it doesn't work well.

I see that I need to make some hard changes to my life in order to live for God. I keep pushing them to the side, not wanting to acknowledge that I need to make them but they keep coming back.

Please pray for me, it's a tough time.

Yum...coffee...

einstein coffee can always make me happy (:

so, a lot has happened since I wrote last.

I got into the medical house for next year! (it is a residential house at my school that you can stay in if you are going into the medical field) They let me join even though I'm going into pharmacy (or thinking about it). I'm really excited about it. No more berry! Even though I did really love staying in berry, just the signing in and all was a hassle sometimes.

On a side note, I can not believe this semester is almost halfway through! It really seems like yesterday that I started school. SO much has happened since then.

I visited the aquarium here with Charisse. Well actually she had to go for a project so I decided to tag along. I love anything dealing with aquatic life. I found out that you can volunteer there and I'm really hoping to for next year! It seems like a really great atmosphere and experience.

A little unhappier news...daniel and I broke up. It was for the best. He realized first that we just can't be in a relationship together now. Through much thinking, I realized that he is right. A relationship takes so much time in your life. I'm not saying I regret the last ten months we we're dating, they were quite amazing. But now, I can focus so much more on God and do so much more.

Going to see the book of eli with Charisse today and hang with the girls at Morgans, yay! (:

Spring break in 1 week!

Good day...

Today has been an overall very good, not one of the best but progressively got better.

I had a bible study coffee date with Malia which was absolutely wonderful (: She is such an awe-inspiring godly woman, it really helps inspire me to strive to live better.

I've been struggling with some issues lately, not really pertaining to school.

Praying and music has been helping a lot.

I recently downloaded the album WOW 2010. I recommend buying it, it's amazing! Or send me an email and I can send you a few of the songs over AIM. The song Whatever You're Doing by Sanctus Real and Never Be the Same by Red has really helped me.

I've been studying the book of Corinthians and came across the ever famous "Love definition" verse. I really think this helped me a lot, it pertains to all relationships, not only the dating kind.

It helped me put things in perspective and what I am doing wrong when it comes to the

relationships I'm in.

It is almost like a checklist to figure out where a problem might be. Am I doing this? Check. Am i doing this? No, so I need to work on it.

It gives you a chance to step back and think woah! i don't think I'm doing this.

Just some quick thoughts before my night lab. Hope everyone is having a good week!

For reference:

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails..."